(written April 7th)
In ninety days I’ll turn thirty-nine.
In ninety days we also move back to the US (God-willing.)
First let’s address the aging. Turning thirty wasn’t hard. I was forty weeks pregnant and about to pop. There were other things on my mind than aging. Plus, I felt young. I was okay with leaving my tumultuous twenties behind, and ready for the chapter called “motherhood.”
My thirties have brought happiness and so much love. After that first baby were two more pregnancies and births. My marriage and sanity survived some very major home renovations. I made some forever friendships that I had been praying for. Then, the international move…and soon to happen: repatriation.
Forty looms near. Over the past two years living in Europe I’ve gone through a lot of hard inner work. Definitely some sort of “mid-life crisis” transpired. I’ve confronted who I really am, who I have tried to be and failed. Struggled with who God wants me to be. Refined my likes and dislikes and am still working to accept them fully. Made some more forever friends, quite unexpectedly.
I think one of the main purposes of us moving to the Netherlands was for that specific growth. I had to get away from all the comforts of home in order to be shown something I maybe could not have seen otherwise.
In ninety days we will move back to the US (God-willing, with all that is going on in the world) and I will turn thirty-nine. It sounds old and it sounds unsettling. I’m fifteen pounds heavier than I was before we moved. I have more gray hairs sprouting, to be plucked.
Also, I’m more tired. Three kids is exhausting, ya’ll. If you have more than that I lift my glass of red wine to you in utter admiration.
I want to end my thirty-eighth year on a positive note, despite how dismal things seem in the world right now. I want to get through it with as much joy and grace and perspective as possible. I’d rather pivot than plummet toward forty.
To help me out — this week I started Rachel Hollis’s “Your Next 90 Days Challenge” today, at exactly ninety days before I turn 39.
This current challenge she is doing is specifically geared toward thriving right now in this crazy time that the world is going through. I don’t know about you, but I need as much help as I can get navigate it and keep perspective, and I love hearing Rachel’s voice, her truth-telling.
(If you want to join as well, go to http://www.thehollisco.com — it is completely free!)
What are you doing to attempt to through this quarantine time with grace? Phone therapy? Extra zoom calls with friends? A new book that is inspiring you? I’d love to hear!
coffee, then words 